You know what to do. Why are you not doing it?

Knowing is not the same as being able to act

We are tempted to treat behaviour like a simple equation: understand what would help, then do it.

People are not quite that tidy.

We can understand a situation perfectly and still have something that makes action difficult.

Perhaps the perceived cost is too high. Perhaps we avoid a conversation because conflict feels risky. Perhaps a decision collides with something important to us.

Perhaps the old behaviour served us well for a long time and we have not yet found something that can replace it.

That is why “Why are you not doing it?” is not always an accusation. It can be a very useful question.

What is the current behaviour protecting?

Sometimes behaviour that looks irrational has a function.

A manager says they want more time but still checks every detail instead of delegating. Perhaps this is not a time-management problem. Delegating may mean accepting that the result will not look exactly as they would have done it.

Someone says they want to change jobs but has postponed the move for six months. Perhaps they do not lack a plan. The change may involve letting go of a professional identity built over ten years.

If we stay only with the question “What will you do next?”, we can miss this part.

Sometimes it is worth asking: “What does the current situation give you, even while you say you want to change it?”

Emotions do not cancel reason

We often talk about decisions as if emotions were a defect in the system.

“Logically, I know that…” And then comes something the person keeps avoiding.

Perhaps the emotion does not need to be removed so quickly. It may contain information: fear, loss, uncertainty, control, belonging, status.

That does not mean the emotion makes the decision for us. It simply means an obstacle is hard to understand if we remove half the available information.

This is one reason emotions are part of the exploration in LIVES rather than treated as noise that disappears before the “serious” work begins. The LIVES model starts from the idea that understanding the context can be useful before moving into action.

Big plans are comfortable

There is a small paradox here.

Sometimes building an impressive plan is easier than taking one very small step.

The plan is still theory. It cannot fail. It does not expose us.

Action, even a small one, produces real information.

Instead of “I want to delegate more”, the question can become “What specific responsibility am I choosing to delegate this week?”

Instead of “I want to have the conversation”, it can become “When am I scheduling it?”

A small step can look less impressive. Its advantage is that it can be tested.

Insight needs reality

A good conversation can produce a new perspective. The perspective is not yet change.

It can be taken into real life. Into a meeting. An email. A “no”. A decision.

Then we see what happened.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes we discover that our assumption was wrong. That is useful because now we have new information.

Perhaps the distance between “I know” and “I do” is not solved by adding even more discipline.

It may start with a better question: “What happens between the two?”

This is exactly the kind of situation that can be explored through executive coaching.

Working with a similar situation?